Tuesday, July 19, 2011



~In which Yellow Dog finds a Magical Stick, falls to Faerie Land, defeats the Darke Elf
and a Ballad is written in his Honor!
(and Mom and Cat came, too.)
Penned by:  Mimi Foxmorton
Copyright 2004
-A YELLOW DOG Production-

This script designed as a sound recording-though ‘twould make a wondrous animation if ye had the desire!
OPEN:  Tuning of instruments, laughter, Dog bark, Cat meow, general merriment.
MUSICIAN 1:  Ready?
ALL:  Ready!


Oh, gather ‘round good gentles
Our tale’s about to start
It’s about a Dog named Yellow
Who had the Purest Heart!

Now Maids put down your mending
Good Knights rear up your horse
Sir Yellow Dog what did he do?
Saved Faerie Lande, of course!

Well, his tail begins in Middle Earth
Then to the Land of Faerie
They say he’s brave; they say he’s bold
(aside) They say he’s big and hairy!

One day whilst romping in the woods
He found a stick of Magic
He chased it up
He chased it down
What happened next was tragic!

He caught that stick between his teeth
And then there was no ground!
Fell all the way to Faerie Lande
And only made one sound:
(spoken)  Oof!

Oh, Yellow Dog lay on the ground
His Mom said, “What a mettle!”
“It appears as though you’ve taken us
Grass o’er tea kettle!”

Stains of mud were on his suit
So he just though and sat
“Whatever bad has happened here
I blame it on the Cat!”
(Spoken by CAT)  Hey!

They looked above below them
And saw a Deep Plum Skye
So they supposed it was better than
A sharp stick in the eye!

Now, the three alone in Faerie Lande
Where the Elf Kinge sings
They looked, they felt, they saw, they blinked
They found that they had wings!

Confused yet game they tried their lot
And finally lifted up
But, Yellow needed extra help
(aside)  He had a heavy butt!

Then they saw an Elfe a-hiding
They chased then finally got him
He agreed to be their Faerie Guide
His name was Elfe Grassbottom!

Next, who should come a riding up
With bells upon their Horse?
It was the Royale Faerie Band
With the Kinge and Queene, of course!

The Queene bent down and whispered soft
She only said one thing.
But, when she spoke Yellow Dog could hear
The sound of a Faerie Belle ring!

SFX:  Bell tinkle

Oh, Yellow gazed upon the Queene
She put flowers in his hair
(spoken)  MUSICIAN 1:  That’s a lot of flowers!
            MUSICIAN 2:  That’s a lot of hair!
           MUSICIAN 1:  It must have taken awhile.
           MUSICIAN 2:  It did!
          CAT:  Get on with it…my part is coming up!
(resume song)
Said, “Yellow Dog I’ve brought you here
To save us from the Darke Elfe’s Lair!”

(spoken by CAT)  This is my part!

(resume song)

The Cat laughed, “Oh, your Majesty,”
“You bring my eye to tear
How can this Dog save anyone?
He’s got wings upon his rear!”

(spoken)   CAT:  I said that you know.
             MUSICIAN 1 & 2:  We know!
             CAT:  I crack myself up!

(resume song)

The Queene said, “Hush, now don’t you know?”
“He’s honest from the start.”
“This Beast’s the one to save our Lande,
For Dogs be Pure of Heart”

(spoken)  CAT:  Umm…he drinks out of the privy bowl.
             DOG:  Only in an emergency. 
                     Hello everyone.  It’s just me, Yellow Dog.
             CAT:  Crimeny.
             MUSICIAN 1:  Ah-em.  The song?
             CAT:  Oh, by all means…please continue.

(resume song)

The Darke Elfe’s Power is too great
To fight with any sword
I know I’ve given this same task
To each and every Lorde.

(spoken)  CAT:  And…what happened to them?
            KINGE:  (transition voice)  Uh, they never came back?  Um…it was awhile ago.
            CAT:  Nice.

(resume song)

So, Cat said, “This I’ve got to see.”
Mom said she didn’t know.
“We’d really love to help you out
But, I think it’s time to go!”

Then Yellow Dog stepped forward
Held up a Golden Paw
“I’ll rise to task and do my Best
For in Dog-Lande this is Law!”

The Queene she bowed before them
Nut gave them Faerie Names
And with a swirl of Elfen Dust
They looked back from whence they came.

So, the Task does lie before them
Their Journey’s at the Start
For if anyone can save the Lande
It’s a Dog with a Pure Heart.

For……if anyone can save the Lande……
It’s a Dog with a Pure Heart!

(transition to story:  spoken)

YD:  Oh, this is so exciting!  What happens next?

CAT:  You idiot!  It’s a song about YOU!  You were THERE!

YD:  I know.  But, I like pretending as though I wasn’t.

CAT:  And to think they sent HIM to save Faerie Lande.

YD:  Tell it again, Mom!  Tell it again!

MOM:  Very well, Yellow Dog.  It happened like this….

CAT:  Crimeny.  Here we go again.

MOM:  Once on a time…not so very long ago…

YD:  But, before last Tuesday though.  Right Mom?  Because last Tuesday was the day I got new sneakers!

MOM:  Yes, Yellow Dog….it was DEFINITELY before Last Tuesday.

CAT:  You’re killin me here.  And HIM they write a Ballad about.

MOM:  Hush.  Once on a time…before Last Tuesday…there lived a Mom and a Yellow Dog….

YD:  That’s me!

MOM:  …..and a Cat.

CAT:  Was the Cat beautiful?

MOM”  Oh, very!  She was Wondrous Beautiful!  And the Yellow Dog was the most Handsome Dog in all the Land!

YD:  (giggle)  Mo-om!

MOM:  And the Mom loved the Yellow Dog with ALL her Heart!  And then even a little bit more!

CAT:  But, she loved the Cat best, right?

MOM:  Not since the Cat shredded the arm of the new sofa.

YD:  I told you you’d get caught.

CAT:  Shut up.

YD:  (under breath)  That’s a bad word.

CAT:  (under breath)  Shut.  Up.

MOM:  And so it came to pass that one fine and lovely Midsummer Day they went a-walking up the Hill, through
          The Meadow and into the Greene Woode!

YD:  We like that.  Huh, Mom?

CAT:  Easy for you to say.  I’ve got short legs.

MOM:  And they walked and ran and skipped and jumped and rolled down a yarrow covered hill and lay quite still at the bottom to feel the sun warm upon their faces and then put on a kettle of Serendipi-tea to brew.  And when they were well rested and felt nothing more pressing to do they picked Rosemary and Lavender and Purple Clover and wove the lot into sweet smelling Herb Crowns to wear so as to pretend they were Royal and from Some Place Else.

CAT:  I only wore mine under protest.

YD:  You do everything under protest.

CAT:  Shut up.

YD:  (under breath)  Bad word.

CAT:  (under breath)  Don’t care.

YD:  Rosemary came to our house once and brought cookies.  Right, Mom?

MOM:  Uh…yes…..but, that was a DIFFERENT Rosemary.  You see this Rosemary……is….well….never mind….

YD:  Well, I bet she was nice all the same.

MOM:  That she was.

YD:  And then we sang the Happy, Happy Nonsense song, right Mom?

MOM:  We did at that!

CAT:  Oh.  No.

YD:  Can we sing it now, Mom?  Just to show how it goes?

MOM:  Absolutely!

CAT:  Oh, joy.

MOM:  Ready?

YD:  Ready!


ALL:  Ohhhhhhhh……….Happy, Happy Nonsense
       I’ve got Beans inside my Shoe
       Chickens, Rabbits, Weasel Cheese
       I love you!  Hey!

YD:   Happy, Happy Nonsense
      The Tuna he said, “Moo!”
      Goats and Rats and Ele-phat’s
      Now he’s in a Zoo!  Hey!

CAT:  Happy, Happy Nonsense
       Yellow Dog went Poo
       Mom went outside and stepped in it
       And she said, “Eww!”

MOM/YD:  Hey!  (a very DIFFERENT sort of HEY!)


CAT:  Well, it’s true.

MOM:  Well, you needn’t tell everyone.

YD:  Sorry.

MOM:  Happens.


ALL:  Ohhhhh…..Happy, Happy Nonsense
       I’ve got Beans inside my Shoe
       Chickens, Rabbits, Weasel Cheese


MOM:  (clapping)  Ah, well done!  Well, done!

YD:  And right after that is when I found the Stick.

MOM:  That’s right.  We were laughing so hard about our funny song…..
          although ONE OF US had to be SPOKEN TO for being rude…..

YD:  That would be Not Me.

CAT:  (chuckle)

YD:  Then Mom thought we should play Stick.  Right, Mom?

MOM:  That’s right.  But, little did I know that it would be no ordinary game of Stick.

YD:  I’ll say.

CAT:  I’ve STILL got a patch of fur missing.

YD:  Where?

CAT:  It’s in a…delicate…place.

MOM:  Nevertheless, we set out to play Stick.

SFX:  Back In Time Harp-ish Music-sense of moving backwards in time.

(to be continued.........aren't you excited to see what happens next.......?)

**image:  (Unknown)  17th Century
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